“Spring drew on…and a greenness grew over those brown beds, which freshening daily, suggested the thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning brighter traces of her steps.” - Charlotte Brontë |
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| Effloresce (Oil on Canvas, 24”x30”) |
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Joyful Defiance
Antheia, the Greek goddess of gardens, was the inspiration for Effloresce and I finished her just as the Spring flowers were popping up. Antheia was associated with blossoming, love, natural beauty, fertility and the nurturing of friendships, and was typically featured with flowers and gold. She was often depicted with long golden hair but I’m not too interested in rigid rules, as myths are open to reinterpretation. I’m more inclined to prefer dark hair in my work so I chose to give her a golden “halo” of sorts instead. This was my first attempt at using gold foil. I found it very delicate and tricky and learned a lot by ruining my first attempt. I quickly got the hang of it though, and have now used gold foil in three of my current projects. If you’ve seen my gaudy frames over the years, you know this gal loves gold, so I’m sure it will keep showing up in my work (but I pinky promise not to bedazzle everything like a demented fool in an oval office). |
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Here I am bedazzling another piece which may or may not turn out. |
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You may recognize this muse, Janea, as I photographed and painted her last year for my gingko “In November” painting. I pay my models well and last year’s photo session was over quickly so she graciously volunteered to offer me several more poses, one of which I used here. I told her she could pose however she wanted and when she decided to proudly display her armpit hair, I knew that would be a future painting. She’s saying “Look what I’m growing!” |
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She’s a little hard to photograph as she’s very shiny. (All the more reason to come to my show in September and see everything in person!) |
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It’s such a little thing, isn’t it? Still, it’s a small sign of joyful defiance. Every time a woman does what she wants with her own body it’s an act of resistance.
We typically associate Spring with hope, and I think when times are bad people can mistakenly associate hope with delusion. It would be delusional to look at the conditions we are in and pretend all is well, BUT hope and joy are actually meant to be acts of defiance, planted in the darkness of this reality, but still willing to push upward. |
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Confronting My Bully
Typically my studio is an absolute sanctuary for me. I love it there. The natural light is so helpful for my work and mood. I’m able to hyper focus without much interruption, but I’m also able to be in and around community a bit, enjoy the company of my lovely studio mate, or have a nice chat with people friends and doggie friends popping in for the occasional visit. |
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All visitors are welcome, but only good boys and girls get ear scritches. |
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Over the last few days, however, I’ve been avoiding going in to paint because recently a really unkind woman has been showing up to harass me at work. She’s an absolute insecure bully and I just don’t want to run into her anymore.
These are some of the ridiculous things she’s had the audacity to say to me:
“Why are you so slow?”
“You should probably skip outdoor exercise and lunch so you can get this done.”
“Your work is mediocre at best.”
“No one will see or buy that anyway.”
“You’ll never get it all done on time.”
“Why is this still so hard for you?”
Can you believe that? It’s really hurtful. Like, who talks to people that way?
Me. I do.
I’m the bully.
These are the unkind words I have been telling myself as I sit at my easel each day.
Gross. |
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I would never speak to someone else that way and I deserve the same compassion and respect I give to others. So today I’ll head back into the studio, confront my bully, and show her the door.
I’m about to defy the hell out of that bullshit. |
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Old (But Sadly) Current
I think I’m doing newslettering/capitalism wrong because I don’t really have new stuff to try and sell you since I’m working on my show for the next two seasons. Still I encourage you to shop small when and if you are able. I do think several of my products fit the overall mood, don’t you? I wish they didn’t. |
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THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID TO ME IN MY STUDIO THIS MONTH:
“Why do you paint so many women with things growing out of them?”
“These people don’t have shirts. Where are their shirts?” |
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Between fascism, menopause, raising two teens, planning/painting a solo show, and watching the economy kill off what remains of my art income, I feel I’ve aged 1,000 years lately. Still, I remember that I’m so privileged, and also, not alone.
I hope you’re hanging in there, dear friends. I hope you’re able to enjoy the sun and wind on your beautiful faces and bodies this season. I hope I learn how to paint shirts.
Reach out if you wish. I love hearing from you.
WIP always, dolly
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