|
| “The job of the artist is to be themselves at any cost.” - Sinéad O’Conner |
|
| |
| | On Being Childish
I love the Fall! I LOVE Halloween! I love dressing up! I love spooky things!
But that wasn’t always the case. I couldn’t start celebrating Halloween until I was an adult. For one thing, I wasn’t allowed to, and for another, where I spent much of my childhood that just wasn’t a thing. On top of that, October on the other side of the world is in the Spring, and even their Fall lacks those fiery autumnal colors.
I also didn’t like spooky things as a child because I was scared of pretty much everything (some very real threats and plenty made up). Turns out when your parents tell you things like “We think your cabbage patch doll is possessed by a demon," life in general is scary enough. Thanks satanic panic!
When I say now that I am “embracing my inner child” I am not always referring to the child I was, but to the child I was never allowed to be. I think that’s true for lots of late bloomers - we’re finding out in adulthood who we actually are, and who we could have been if others hadn’t constantly been trying to mold us into their ideal image.
Speaking of images, here’s my latest print! |
|
|
| Haunted Home, created digitally in ProCreate, available here as well as local shops. |
|
| Making this felt entirely like play. I love it when that happens. I felt like a kid doodling, just adding whatever little critters and decor I wanted, unworried about perspective or precision. It just feels sweet and juvenile in the best way, and all the little details make me happy. Do you have a favorite detail? |
|
|
|
| | The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful
In the same vein as “embrace your inner child” I am a pretty firm believer in “always be learning.” Maybe that’s just because I have some catching up to do, but I like to keep my curiosity well fed.
And so, I took a pottery class. Boy oh boy, what did I get myself into? |
|
|
| For the past few months I’ve been learning the basics of hand building (from others and on my own) and I am in way over my head. Turns out making anything remotely functional and beautiful out of mud is pretty dang hard!
But the magical thing about learning is that it's simultaneously humbling and empowering.
I made a few simple things like the little ghosties below. |
|
|
| These cuties were one of my early clay projects. Slightly wonky, but still sweet I think. |
|
| Then I decided to dive in a little too deep and make a ribcage vase, something I really wanted, but also something I absolutely do not have the expertise to pull off.
After spending 2 hours making a pattern, 12 hours building, and then patiently waiting 3 weeks for it to dry enough, the vase broke before it even made it to the first firing. I would love to only ever show you the wins, but there are plenty of fails and I think it’s important to see and share those too. |
|
|
| Once it came out of the second firing after glazing, it was in even worse shape. (There are still a few missing ribs floating around somewhere that the kiln gods haven’t seen fit to return to me.)
I made SO many mistakes with this thing. I accidentally bought and used the wrong clay, making it so much harder. I didn’t get my measurements correct. I didn’t create enough support. I tried something beyond my skill level that all the local potters told me was cool but also very difficult and likely to crack and break.
And when it did, I wanted to cry but instead just swore a lot. Then I had to remind myself that I am a student. This failure is packed full of useful information. Besides, in art and in life, perfection is never in the cards. |
|
|
| Like me, she’s got a touch of scoliosis, is definitely asymmetrical, has some unwanted lumps and bumps and scars, has broken parts, missing parts, and sagging parts, but still, I choose to love her. I’m glad I tried.
This little body of clay has taught me a lot.
There is a place for her. And I will try again. |
|
|
|
| This piece, in it’s broken form, unintentionally ended up reminding me so much of my last show. It’s kinda freakin’ beautiful. |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reading…
Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates I was so moved by this book and wish I had read it sooner. Coates is just a brilliant writer and I couldn’t put it down. His story of growing up Black in America, which he writes here to his son (carrying the same burden), feels like essential reading. White supremacy is as stupid as it is evil. This quote really stuck with me - “One cannot, at once, claim to be superhuman and then plead mortal error. I propose to take our countrymen’s claims of American exceptionalism seriously, which is to say I propose subjecting our country to an exceptional moral standard.”
Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers, Mary Roach
If you, like me, often have what some may consider “morbid” thoughts floating around in your little noggin, this might just be the perfect book for you! It starts out completely horrifying, gets into some more technical tidbits, and then goes back to gross again. Fascinating! My husband seemed to enjoy all the grimacing faces I made while reading this, but Roach, a very witty writer, managed to remind me that what is often considered morbid is also often quite funny. |
|
| |
| Why yes I do still love children’s books at the young age of almost 45! Also, Dexter and friends send their love. |
|
| | As I wrap this up, I want to share a conversation I had last week. Another artist asked me what I’ve been working on this year since I’m not doing a show, and I told them this was a year of playing and learning, trying and failing, and hopefully growing. They asked what my take away was and I think it is this:
I am teaching myself how to reject shame. I am making imperfect things over and over again and it can feel discouraging because my brain envisions what my hands cannot necessarily create. But it is brave to try. It is the ONLY way to grow. And in that growth, I refuse to feel ashamed when my work is not what I wish it was.
I think children, before they are taught shame, are such free players and free thinkers and free creators, uninhibited, unafraid of what others may think. I want more of that please.
I hope this Fall you will find something that celebrates your inner child, whether it’s playing in the mud, wearing the costume, enjoying your favorite Halloween candy, or exploring some new silliness that brings you joy.
Thank you for being here. Reach out if you want or need.
WIP always, dolly |
|
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
