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| “It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in a broken world.” - Mary Oliver |
| |  | Happy Earth Day!
While I was taught my whole life that a personal relationship with a silent, invisible deity would help me navigate the human experience, I have instead found that it’s my relationship with the very living, breathing, tangible earth that teaches and comforts me the most. We can see and feel this life force that is caring for us, both within and without our bodies. How sacred to know that no matter how lost or alone you may feel, you are actually terribly similar to your surroundings. I think understanding our relationship to Earth can teach us to embrace life more and fear death less, because the scientific, observable thing we know is that energy cannot be created or destroyed - it merely transforms, and in that way, our life is actually eternal. We truly do not cease, but rather return, home to earth. We don’t ever have to travel far away from all we’ve known and loved. I think that’s really beautiful.
Perhaps what many call “God” I call “Earth” or “Universe” or “Love” or “Energy.” Either way, I only believe in a power that can get under my nails.
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Of Earth
oh, do you love her? you must know by now, she loved you first.
from the moment you arrived, you’ve been slowly dying to get back to her.
because you are her and she is you.
a muddy mix of sea and soil and stars. a mess of veins branching out, tingling.
do you feel her when you float? when you lay your weary bones upon the ground?
she’s holding you. always has. always will.
some call it gravity. i call it love.
- dolly
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| | Taking Up Space
I recently acquired a small space at a local gallery, LibertyTown Arts Workshop, to display some of my work. I’ve been on a waitlist for over a year, and while I would eventually like a bigger space, I have learned to be grateful for any space I’m given - and I will use up any space I’m given!
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|  | If you’re local and haven’t visited LibertyTown, I think you should. It’s “home” to almost 60 local artists and is always an inspiring place to be. If you do pop in, I hope you’ll check out my newish itty bitty wall. I think she’s real purty.
Taking Up More Space -
You can also find a few of my oil paintings on display at Fraser Wood Elements, |
|  | “Foreign Species” and “Revival” currently available and on display at Fraser Wood Elements. |
| |  | Some favorite Spring products available at local shops, designed/illustrated by yours truly. |
| And,
You can find me and my menagerie at the market next month! I don’t do a lot of markets anymore and won’t be back there again until September, so put it in your calendar. I feel like that’s the only time I happen to see certain friends, so it would be very nice to see some of your friendly faces. |
| |  | There will be good flowers, good doggies, good stickers, and more! |
| Lastly,
You can still view my painting Wildflower, Wallflower at LibertyTown until the end of the month. She won 3rd place, whoo hoo! I split the winnings with my model (aka my kid). |
|  | | Sensory Shutdown
For the first half of April my mental health took a massive dive for some obvious reasons (gestures broadly at world, points specifically at America) and some not so obvious reasons.
For two weeks my senses said “enough.” I didn’t want to eat anything and nothing tasted good, I didn’t listen to any music (other than attending my son’s high school musical 3 times), I didn’t read or listen to any books, I didn’t go for any walks, not even to visit the nearby pond. I even took all the lovely art off the walls of my home studio. While I’m very familiar with depression, anxiety, and sensory overload, this felt different, more extreme, and out of character for the healthy, regulated version of me who loves to surround herself with beauty. While I wanted absolutely no input or inspiration, I still wanted to create (which I normally would not want to do when depressed.)
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|  | Walls, Ugly / Floor, Messy / Art, Pretty |
| For two weeks I sat on the floor every day and painted in silence and listened to my body until I could figure out what on earth she was trying to tell me. I think I did eventually figure it out, and I did push through because forward is the only way through, but honestly I’m still struggling. That has to be okay. I did make some pretty things though. I have mostly tried to return to filling my life with good things even if I’m still very much not feeling it. |
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| | Nature Stories
During this month of silent floor painting, I’ve started 12 pieces and finished 8 so far, mostly oils, some small things, with a few abandoned, reworked, or unfinished things in there.
Here are a few of the completed pieces. I wasn’t purposefully working within any theme, and yet I saw one emerge. These pieces and their titles all tell little stories.
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Passage What: Peach Blossoms, Oil on Wood Why: Because I had to push through something uncomfortable to get to the other side. Because we’re always traveling. Because everything is seasonal.
(This piece is a donation for LibertyTown’s upcoming Patron Show in May. Contact them for information about vouchers.)
Sanctuary What: Magnolia Blossoms, Oil on Wood) Why: Because when I think of sacred refuge I think of sitting under a huge shade tree. See pic at bottom of newsletter of my youngest under the canopy of a massive magical magnolia.
Why Not Both What: Gynandromorph Moths, Oil on Panel Why: Because nature is very cool and very queer and always has been. Because I love the non-binary, trans people in my life. Because I’m very worried.
Grounded What: Parrot Waxcaps, Oil on Wood Why: Because fungal communities can reshape and adapt to stressors, network and communicate with each other, and teach us a thing or two about resilience.
Available here. |
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LISTENING
SABLE, fABLE Bon Iver
Romance (Deluxe Edition) Fontaines D.C.
READING
Returning Home to our Bodies Reimagining the Relationship Between Our Bodies and the World (Practices for connecting somatics, nature, and social change.) Abigail Rose Clark
EXPLORING
A recent day trip to Maymont (one of my favorite Spring destinations) was a lovely temporary distraction.
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|  |  | | I hope you find something here to connect with and hold on to. If so, please reach out or share it with a friend.
Until next time, earthlings.
WIP always, dolly |
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